


we need mental help. fast-

by HollowsEve



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: #exPOSING, -and family, Age Play Little Jeon Jungkook, Barbeque sauce on my tiddies-, Bits of drama scattered around, Daddy Kink, Exy smexy sexting, Fluff, Healthy Relationships, Kinks, M/M, Meme, Minor SEVENTEEN Ensemble, Mommy Kink??, Multi, One hell of a chaotic groupchat, Plot twists (whoops I 4got 2 put dat b4), Polyamory, Praise Kink, Sex being talked openly, Shitposting lol, Slight humiliation kink, There could bee more, chatfic, groupchat, kinkshaming, lowercase intended, nowkinks, so here i am, sokinkkystuffnow??, the best amirite?-, waIT.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-19
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-06 17:23:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13416009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HollowsEve/pseuds/HollowsEve
Summary: Literal shit-posting. Just a heads-up





	1. Chapter 1

**[Kim Taehyung created a Groupchat.]**

**[Kim Taehyung invited Jeon Jungkook.]**

**[Kim Taehyung invited Park Jimin.]**

**[Kim Taehyung invited Kim Namjoon.]**

**[Kim Taehyung invited Kim Seokjin.]**

**[Kim Taehyung invited Min Yoongi.]**

**[Kim Taehyung invited Jung Hoseok.]**

 

Kim Taehyung: did I forget someone?

no? ok gr8, listen up fuccerz

 

**[Kim Taehyung changed their nick to "Kim #1".]**

 

Kim #1: I made this group so every peasant bow down to me, peasants.

 

Min Yoongi: the ufck man? its literally 2 am

 

Kim #1: Tru. buTT BOW DOWN TO ME PEASANT

 

Min Yoongi: bitch please i am ur hyung(tm), you better not disrespect me. you imbecile.

 

**[Kim Taehyung changed Min Yoongi's nick to "sour candy".]**

 

sour candy: f u

 

Kim #1: ya want to, don't u? ;)

 

sour candy: honestly, yah

so liek. my room?

 

Kim #1: k sure

 

sour candy: bitch i dont speak letters

 

Kim #1: O-K

 

sour candy: or sass.

 

Kim #1: k nvm no sex

 

sour candy: waot no be reasonable

 

Kim#1: hmmmmmmmmmmnoPe! 

 

sour candy: fine, no succs 4 u

 

Kim #1: wait babe please

 

sour candy: fine

 

Kim #1: ok


	2. kholdon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Introducing some more members!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be putting their names here for now. And don't forget to request prompts if you have any!
> 
> Yoongi: sour candy  
> Taehyung: Kim #1  
> Jimin: squish and love  
> Seokjin: Kim #2  
> Namjoon: Kim #3  
> Hoseok: hobee

**Kim #1 has logged on..**

**Kim #1 has changed the chat name to "MeeMee Chat"..**

 

Kim #1: So I bet y'all are wondering why I brought you here today.

 

**sour candy has logged on..**

**Kim Seokjin has logged on..**

 

sour candy: no one is wondering that

also did you seriously put "y'all"?

 

**Kim #1 has changed Kim Seokjin to "Kim #2"..**

 

Kim #2: I am wondering, thank  _y'all_

 

Kim #1: yey

at least someone respects me

 

sour candy: ugh

 

**Jung Hoseok has logged on..**

**Jung Hoseok has changed their nick to "hobee"..**

 

hobee: tae why did u make this

 

Kim #1: y not?

 

**sour candy has logged off..**

 

hobee: lol

 welp, der he go

 

Kim #2: so bootyful

 

Kim #1: okay then... but I mad this chat so that if one or two of us has to tell the whole group something, then they don't have to text it to every single private chat. Or to just check up on people.  ~~andmaybetradingmemesandothernonseriousstuff~~ what. so this is a fun and alive chat, like a.. virtual vacation from work???? liek, just chill here and kinshame.. what

 

hobee: noice send over dem memes boi

 

Kim #2: aww.. it was fine until you ruined it

 

hobee: me?

 

Kim #2: it wasn't directly to anyone if u get what i'm saying?

 

Kim #1: i'm still offended

 

Kim #2: don't be, ya know i love you(ɔˆ ³(ˆᴗˆc)

 

Kim #1: i know, love u to

 

hobee: cute

now **@everyone** get thee fuck on

 

**Sour candy has logged on..**

**Kim Namjoon has logged on..**

**Park Jimin has logged on..**

 

Park Jimin: your lord and savior has come.

sour candy: more like our squish and love

 

**Sour candy has changed Park Jimin's nick to "squish and love"..**

 

squish and love: i shall accept it..

 

Kim Namjoon: I want one

 

**Kim #1 has change Kim Namjoon's nick too "Kim #1"..**

Kim #1: Kim league く(-3-)ヾ

 

Kim #2: yas fam

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> future chapters shall be longer and have more "plot" to it, dw


	3. happy war day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valenwar day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone has their regular nicks since i'm tryna rush this

Everyone has logged on to MeeMee chat since Mystie is tryna hurry this up..

 

Gukfish: happy hidefromthewar valentines day everyone!

 

hoebye: don't try to act all cute

 

Gukfish: Idk what ur talking about

 

hoebye: yes you do

 

Gukfish: shut it

 

hoebye: whatever

 

Jinbee: cuddles anyone? :3

 

chimchim: coming

 

sweetie: uh free food anyone?-

 

taebae: omW BIATYCEHES

 

sweetie: lol how did you even manage that?

 

taebae: shut.

 

joon:uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHH.. who wants to go shopping then come home and geT DOWN AND DIRTY

 

hoebye: mE

 

Gukfish: shithead no, me first

 

joon: you both can come ;)

 

Gukfish: ON MY FUCKING WAY hAH

 

hoebye:coming kekekeke

 

joon: you will be soon if you know what Imean

 

Jinbee: lol they forgot all about the shopping

 

chim: tru, wanna go shopping?

 

Jin: ok love

 

chim: :3 love you

 

Jin: love you too (´∀｀*)ε｀)

bye y'all

 

\--

 

sweetie: I, Min Yoongi, Agust D, Suga, other shit, turns out that I do not know the best restaurants and end up eating at the ones that pUT HAIR IN YOUR FOOD WTF

 

tae: true lol friggen cooks

not even cooks!

 

joon: lol

 

Gukfish: poor you guys lmao

 

sweetie: I'M SUING I ALMOST DIED FROM HAIR

 

hoebye: did anyone notice that we're all in pairs and just one threesome?

 

Jinbee: I did

 

hoebye: oh,

cool

anyone else

 

Jinbee: r00d

 

hoebye: sorry, it wasn't mean't to be r00d

 

Jinbee: I know, *pat pat*

 

Guk: I may have noticed but didn't care

 

taebae: nup

 

hoebye: oh ok

but this is a first time we aren't fighting over each other

 

chim: tru tru time to change that

yoONGI COME CUDDLE ME I HAVE CHOCOLATES AND EVERYTHING

 

sweetie: omfw

 

Guk: i'm naked and in my room, first to get here gets to deep throat me :)

oh and wins in my opinion

 

hoebye: hahahahahahahahaaaa coming

 

joon: XD tae just tackled jin down then went straight for it lol

 

taebae: sorry but im not passing up this opportunity

 

hoebye: I am Sad and Miserable(tm)

 

joon: come here we can cuddle and makeout

 

hoebye: yya

love you

 

joon: love you too

 

chim: more than me?

 

hoebye: never

 

joon: I have never felt more betrayed.

 

sweetie: but even if he didn't love you more you still got me

now get back here and cuddle

 

chim: ..i have a great excuse

 

sweetie: what is it?

 

chim: i'm looking for lube and a vibrator?

 

sweetie: ok take your time :)

 

joon: sinning never stops kmfao

lmfao*

 

Jinbee: I swear i heard tae scream

 

sweetie: i'm pretty sure he did lol

must be having a good time

 

chim: you will be having one too daddy ;)

 

sweetie: yes. plEASE!

...

 

sweetie: my eyes have been blessed. (tm)

 

Jinbee: what?

 

joon: what happened?

 

sweetie has attached a picture

sweetie has attached a picture

 

sweetie: look at dat ass tho

  
joon: oh.

 

Jinbee: "oh." indeed joon. help me please

 

joon: suree

 

sweetie: gtggtgtgtgtgtgtg adbgusahoxa

 

\--

 

taebae: I was the one that screamed and..

 

tae bae: I love you crazy fuckers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finished at 12:33 AM on Febuary 13/14 and posted at 1:27 on Febuary 14 in Pennsylvania


End file.
